Passing of a beloved friend

So I started to write this blog, then released I needed more time. So now I am ready to face this and be ok with it. Some of you know that we recently had to put Krystn's cat to sleep. Her name was Godsmack, yes, like the band. She was a wonderful member of our family for 8 years. She was not only a cat, but like a playmate for Krystn. Our house is very solemn without her presence. She is greatly missed. I got Godsmack for Krystn for Christmas in 2002. I remember like it was yesterday. Krystn and Godsmack bonded from the moment she saw her. She use to go limp in Krystn's arms. Krys would bounce down the hallway with her, and Godsmack never complained. People told me all the time to make Krys "be careful with the kitty" and I said "No, Godsmack will let her know if she crossed the line." And, there were times she did...lol Godsmack got very sick, and we found out she had FIP. It was a fatal, painful, non-treatable disease. Only 5% of cats (so they say) get this from the regular coronavirus (FCoV) which is like the common cold for cats. After doing good for a couple of weeks, she went back downhill. That is when we decided to put her to sleep. It was one of the single hardest decisions I have ever had to make. Krystn has had a hard time with it. After about 5 nights, she finally slept through the night. But last week she was primarily in our room with us. Many tears. So I got a bunch of old pictures together and made a collage with her collars (yes she had two, one for when she lost one from killing birds). I think that helped her. So we have talked much about death. It is a very hard subject for children anyways. She says that she hopes Godsmack will come home, and we just keep letting her know she wont, but that to always remember her and she is happy now. So here are some pictures I would like to share.

Braiding hair

Krystn has never been big on me touching her hair. She even has her dad brush her hair if it is really tangled. She says I hurt her...but I say that I take after my Aunt Vickie. She use to line us girls up (there was 5 of us, 3 years apart) and do all of our hair, and if you cried or pulled away she would wack you with the brush and tell you to hold still. With all of us kids (13 with all cousins and siblings) it took way to long to get us all ready. So when Krystn was little, I knew she hated it. So I learned to do her hair really quick and tight so it would not fall out. When she turn around 6 is when she didn't want me to braid or doll it up anymore. So tonight we are just putt putting around the house and I asked her if I could do her hair. It has been a good 3 years since doing anything with her hair. It took convincing that she could take it out if she didn't like it, and 35 minutes after negotiating this is what the result was: It took about 3 minutes. She liked it for about 5, and then took it out. but this face is what I was going for! Oh, and that is the cat feather toy stick in her hand. She had to show that in the picture.

Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS)

So I thought I could give some information on PDD-NOS. Krystn doesn't have the Autism. However, she has many of the behavioral issues and physical and mental problems associated with the PDD symptoms. "The term pervasive developmental disorders (PDDs) refers to a group of developmental conditions that affect children and involve delays or impairments in communication and social skills. Autism is the most well-known of the pervasive developmental disorders, so PDDs also are known as autism spectrum disorders." "Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) is a 'subthreshold' condition in which some - but not all - features of autism or another explicitly identified Pervasive Developmental Disorder are identified. PDD-NOS is often incorrectly referred to as simply "PDD." The term PDD refers to the class of conditions to which autism belongs. PDD is NOT itself a diagnosis, while PDD-NOS IS a diagnosis. The term Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS; also referred to as "atypical personality development," "atypical PDD," or "atypical autism") is included in DSM-IV to encompass cases where there is marked impairment of social interaction, communication, and/or stereotyped behavior patterns or interest, but when full features for autism or another explicitly defined PDD are not met." - Yale Medical School My favorite article: "Like other parents with children on the spectrum, you will face many challenges, starting with the incomprehension and insensitivity of others unfamiliar with your situation. They may think your child is "misbehaving" and, consequently, deem you a parent unable to "control" him. This may be especially true because PDD-NOS kids don't fit into the more easily identifiable forms of autism spectrum disorders. Ignorance can bring out the worst in others, and sometimes, when they're not privy to your child's issues (or simply don't understand them or won't accept the diagnosis, as happens in some families), they may be more judgmental. That's why it's important to surround yourselves with friends, family members, teachers and healthcare providers whom you trust. Be sure that the lines of communication with and among them are clear; you will be relying on them through the many ups and downs of life with a PDD-NOS child." So I hope this helps some people. It sure does me. It took us almost 10 years to diagnose Krystn. I am just glad I kept pushing, and never just pumped her full of meds, like so many doctors before wanted to do. There is hope out there! Scottish Rite here is fresno is one!! http://www.fresnoscottishritelanguagecenter.com/index.htm

Big Words

So I have been in Los Angeles for the last 4 days and nights. This was for training for the new job I have taken. I am not sure if any of you have ever traveled for a job, but it sucks. I made it home in time for Krystn's school carnival last night. I surprised her and Tom when I walked into the room. It made her cry. I think she missed me. Well, so when we got home we sat down and had dinner. Just Talking and laughing and the dog chasing the cats and barking and Vlad jumping on the table.....I am so glad I am home! So after dinner I crawled into our California King Size bed and grabbed finger nail polish and Krystn. I took her old polish off and repainted her fingers. I then painted my toes and nails (and Toms, but he made me take it off!). Once I got done Krystn asked to see my toes and I showed her. She goes, "Impressive." and nods her head. It was funny. I just look at her. She goes, "That means I didn't think you could make it look that nice." I lost it! I told her I knew what it ment, and thanks alot for the encouragement. I just thought it was cute.

Tattle Tale

So this morning me and my little girl (Oh she is not little anymore, "I'm 10 MOM!") woke up at 4:40am. I have been fixing her computer all morning because she got some virus's...that is neither here nor there. Anyways, we have hung out all morning while Thomas slept in. It was very nice. I am not sure if all kids are tattle tales on their parents, but she sure is! Anything I do, she calls grandma and tattles on me. Even if it is nothing big, she still does. This morning she was tattleing on me for something, again not a big deal cause see, I already forgot. It brought back the memory of when she was around 5 and called and tattled. You see, she loved to climb under my bed and lay with the cats. Well, she found a book that I had on my nightstand that fell halfway under my bed (probably from the cats knocking it off the nightstand). Well, she proceeded to call Grandma and told grandma "Mom has a book under her bed with a naked woman on it." (sorry laughing as I write this.) So my mother freaks out and tells her to bring the phone to me. Then she proceeds to tell me how irresponsible I am for having that kinda trash laying around for her to find, and blah blah blah. I am trying to explain I do not have crap like that. I told my wonderful daughter, who now got me in trouble, to go grab the book she was talking about and bring it to me. She brings me my greek mythology book. And sure enough, there is a half naked picture of a ladie (showing her ONE BOOB) to me and I am hysterically laughing! I explained to my mom what it was and even read her some of it so she would believe me (she lived 400 miles away, or I am sure she would of came over and checked). So these kind of things have happened over and over, because she thinks that she knows everything! Plus, I think she likes it when grandma gets mad at me sometimes, because then she is not the only one being yelled at. My mom, has picked it up over the years and just tells her to 1. stop going through your moms stuff or 2. it isn't any of your business (MYOB). Anytime she tattles on me it makes me laugh. Cause most of the time it is something that is so funny that she said something about it, that it makes it even better! Like, "Grandma, I am soooooooo hungry. Mom NEVER feeds me!" (laughing again) Krystn is by NO MEANS a skinny girl. She wastes food, so she is not allowed in the kitchen unless she asks. So when I say no, wait til lunch or no, wait til I cook she gets upset. She has gotten alot better since we have made her ask to go get food, and it also gives us the ability to make sure what she is eating is not 'popcorn and ramen noodles'. It was so bad for awhile even my best friend would call my mom and go "Linda-Mom, Renee wont feed me. I am sooooooo hungry." Once Krystn saw what she was doing, and I wasn't budging on the subject it has started to cease. Now we do think she doesn't have the ability to know when she is full. She will eat until she throws up if we let her, and sometimes still complain she is hungry. By limiting her diet, and making her conscious of what she is eating, her weight is starting to come down some. So if your child tattles on you to your parents, know there is someone else out there who knows the feeling.

Fridays are awsome

I woke up this morning with more energy and happiness then i have had in awhile. My chick is so happy she gets to have McDonald's at school for lunch today, because all the kids turned in thier begining of school paperwork. It is almost like she has never had McDonald's before!! Funny. So she has like 6-8 Webkinz. Yes I have some to (but not telling you how many) and so does Tom...but she plays them for him. So this morning I went to feed her webkinz, because if I didn't they wouldn't make it! lol I guess she called grandma (who lives about 900 miles away) at midnight the other night crying cause she woke up, and wanted to feed her webkinz and couldn't get online. Thank you Webkinz for shutting your site down in the middle of the night! My mom told her that it was fine and to go back to bed. She did and told me in the morning to feed her "dumas" cause they are ALL named Duma....HA HA *side note: Duma is a movie with a cheetah in it.* This morning she was in the shower and was telling me about her dream. She asked me what I dreamed about and I told her I forgot. She thought about it for a minute and goes, "You have short term memory loss to!" It was funny as hell! I chuckled and said no, and explained sometimes you remember and sometimes you don't. She has bugged me to go swimming every day after school. I haven't been able to take her because of all the other running around that I have had to do this week. I think I will suprise her this afternoon with a swimming session, hopefully unprompted. Maybe she will be so excited about McDonald's she will forgot to pester me...but I doubt that. It is nice that she loves swimming so much. Just wish we could do it year around. So not alot has happened the last couple of days. I am bringing a cake to her class this afternoon because her birthday was last saturday. Hopefully no one is allergic to anything!

Getting back into the morning groove

So this morning was alittle better then most school mornings. There was only two melt downs between 6:45am and 7:15am. Since I run my own company, and am starting to work for another company out of the house, sometimes I work very late and like to sleep in. Well last night was a late night, went to bed around 2am, and decided to sleep in. Tom woke me up at 6:30am because he forgot to set the alarm and our daughter was very upset because she wanted to wear her Renaissance skirt and shirt, and she knows she is not allowed to. All her cloths haven't been folded since I washed them all the day before. So Tom was going through the laundry and getting frustrated because he "doesn't know how to dress a girl!" I just have to stop here and giggle to myself. Believe me, he doesn't!! Hee hee. That is a story for a later date....all the outfits Tom has let her go to school in *shaking head*. Atleast he wakes me up now! HA Anyways, I drag outta bed and I have a very upset daughter and a frustrated Tom. All I say is let me start the coffee. I go turn on the pot, and go get her cloths. She wanted to wear a short, short pair of shorts (only for swimming and inside the house), and I said no. So I get her a pair of jeans. Now the jeans are perfectly fine, the bottoms have some frey and maybe 3 TINY holes from her walking on them. Well it was enough to have her get upset. She stated how she is going to get sent home from school because there are "holes in my pants" and that the world was going to end. Now usually I would interrupt her, get frustrated at her because she is being unrealistic and maybe even yell. This morning I just let her get it all out. Then I calmly explained that that wasn't going to happen, she wasn't going to get sent home, and it was better then having her butt cheeks hangin out (which they don't in the short shorts, but it made light of the drama). That made her laugh and life went on with the pants. I am reading a book called "Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff" by Richard Carlson. The chapter I just got done reading was to not interrupt others or finish their sentences. He made a huge point. He talks about how hard it is to do that because not only are you thinking about what you are going to say, you have to be one step ahead of the other person to think about what they are going to say then come back with what you are going to say. How exhausting! Take a step back and let them say whatever they want and then you talk. Not only are you allowing them to validate how they feel and what they think, and allow them to think for themselves, you are giving that person a sense of self worth. I am horrible at this habit. So I am currently working on it now. I know this morning it worked with her, and in the future I hope it does to. Plus the situation didn't escalate any further, which some mornings it has. So the other explosion was about a water bottle that was brand new. She filled it up monday and left it on it's side and it leaked everywhere. So I told her to take a V-8 on Monday and we would get her a new one when we went to the store next time. Well this morning she wanted to take it to school. I was trying to explain she couldn't and she kept cutting me off. Now she has a very hard time putting sentences together, so for her to explain anything it takes 20 years..lol. I took a deep breath and shut my mouth. She said it worked and was trying to explain that she didn't screw it on tight enough and she wanted to show me that by filling it up and turning it upside down. Now obviously I didn't want to have water everywhere and said no, but she was trying to explain it was because "the screwy thing didn't go right mom". So if you know ju-ju bean talk you would understand that. But if you woke up 20 minutes ago with no hot coffee, a frustrated man, and upset daughter, no lunches made and a dog ready to eat the kitten...you would see why I didn't want her to "show me." But I gave in. Sure as anything, she filled it up and turned it upside down. And you know what? It was fine. See, that is because I trusted what she was saying and I took the time to listen. So the two lessons I learned. 1. Have her cloths laid out and lunch made the night before. and 2. Shut up and listen. Do not interrupt and finish her sentences.

My Daughter, My Life

My daughter just turned 10 years old. It is hard to believe that 10 years ago I was just starting down the road I am on now. She is in 4th grade and enjoys swimming and her animals (cats and dog). Her favorite things are Ariel and High School Musical. She would rather read books (let me rephrase this, look at books and make up stories sometimes) then go play with barbies. She loves movies, and can pull many things out of a movie that I never paid attention long enough too. Her hero is my boyfriend, who has been the only father in her life for 6 years. She thinks he walks on water, with her grandma next to him, of course. My daughter has ADHD and a Developmental Delay of half her life. She also has no short term memory. If you look at her, she looks like any other child. You would not even think that she has any problems, unless you spend more then 10 minutes with her. Some people have gotten upset or irritated with her because she cannot remember things, names, places. She also is socially behind all the other kids her age. Other children her age have a hard time accepting her, because she looks fine, but mentally she is scattered. People have their feelings hurt, because she cannot remember names. She can tell time, but she doesn't understand that if it is 7:13, in 2 minutes it will be 7:15. Believe me, bed time is a whole nother monster! I am scared to take her to doctors, because I do not want them to push pills down her throat. Most of the time, this is what happens. She is a beautiful little girl, who deserves more then anything that this world could give her. She is so compassionate and patient with others. She loves to tell everyone what to do and how to do it. This blog is here to see if there are others out there. I know I am not the only one who is dealing with this. I am looking forward to make posts of good and bad times with her. Please stay with us through this.