So upset I could runaway!

I am trying to calm down as I write but I am very upset. Sometimes I come to my wits end and then after many deep breaths, maybe a walk around the block, sometimes a glass of wine and yelling into a pillow, I do calm down. Usually it is about very stupid things, like right now. Krystn thought it would be "easier" to tie ribbon onto her ceiling fan and light cords. Not that big of a deal right? Well, she didn't tie two strings, she tied one string (in this weird, crazy tie..knot...thing), one end to one cord, other end to other cord. So when she pulls on it it will both turn off/on light and change the speed of the fan. Now mind you, she did this while I was at class last night, and she said she asked dad and he was fine with it (I am sure it was because he was playing Madden or watching American Idol). So anyways, I went in and told her to untie them and clean up he room so I could come in and vacuum. She got upset I wanted her to clean her room, yanked the string and now the cord will not turn on or off the light. Yeah now I think about it, it is not that big of a deal. Just call maintenance and they will come fix it. However, what if we have to provide a new fan/light. Ugg! Today I will practice staying away from situations that are going to get me in trouble, like yelling at Krystn. She doesn't need to be yelled at....ok well sometimes she does...

Horse Riding Lessons

http://www.rickkelleyperformancehorses.com/ So, it has been a awfully long time sense writing. Our lives have gone through a huge change in the last couple of months. However, the change is a change that we have rolled with. So today was Krystn's introduction to horse riding lessons. The place we are taking her is Rick Kelly Preformace Horses here in Clovis. Claudia, who is the trainer, is wonderful! She took us around and we got to see everything. It took me back to my childhood. Krystn is very excited about this. We bought her new boots and a riding helmet. She has been wearing both since this afternoon when we walked out of the store. I am sure she will try to sleep in both. She jumped a bit when the horses neahed. And one of the horses scared her when they were unloading it from the trailer. She did her normal hands over ears and bouncing. She was very scared at first petting them (she tried to hide behind me at first), but I just helped her over come it. Once she saw that I could pet the face and it didn't eat me, she was ready to try. Then she got excited and wouldn't be quite. She kept asking the same questions over and over, "Do they bite?" "What if they step on me?" "Can I ride one yet?" Claudia was VERY patient. She stated on the phone she has worked with developmentally disabled children before. But, lets face it, no one has ever met anyone like my gabber jaws. Claudia told me the difference between European and Western riding, and how the first couple of classes are all about saftey. I told her she will work on that with Krystn forever!! HA We got to see some trainers having lessons with European group on jumping. They were training the horses to jump the fence. It was neat. Anyways, I really hope this is something that will help her learn to control herself more. I cannot wait. Here is a picture of her new riding helmet. She tried to wear it to bed...lol...

Passing of a beloved friend

So I started to write this blog, then released I needed more time. So now I am ready to face this and be ok with it. Some of you know that we recently had to put Krystn's cat to sleep. Her name was Godsmack, yes, like the band. She was a wonderful member of our family for 8 years. She was not only a cat, but like a playmate for Krystn. Our house is very solemn without her presence. She is greatly missed. I got Godsmack for Krystn for Christmas in 2002. I remember like it was yesterday. Krystn and Godsmack bonded from the moment she saw her. She use to go limp in Krystn's arms. Krys would bounce down the hallway with her, and Godsmack never complained. People told me all the time to make Krys "be careful with the kitty" and I said "No, Godsmack will let her know if she crossed the line." And, there were times she did...lol Godsmack got very sick, and we found out she had FIP. It was a fatal, painful, non-treatable disease. Only 5% of cats (so they say) get this from the regular coronavirus (FCoV) which is like the common cold for cats. After doing good for a couple of weeks, she went back downhill. That is when we decided to put her to sleep. It was one of the single hardest decisions I have ever had to make. Krystn has had a hard time with it. After about 5 nights, she finally slept through the night. But last week she was primarily in our room with us. Many tears. So I got a bunch of old pictures together and made a collage with her collars (yes she had two, one for when she lost one from killing birds). I think that helped her. So we have talked much about death. It is a very hard subject for children anyways. She says that she hopes Godsmack will come home, and we just keep letting her know she wont, but that to always remember her and she is happy now. So here are some pictures I would like to share.

Braiding hair

Krystn has never been big on me touching her hair. She even has her dad brush her hair if it is really tangled. She says I hurt her...but I say that I take after my Aunt Vickie. She use to line us girls up (there was 5 of us, 3 years apart) and do all of our hair, and if you cried or pulled away she would wack you with the brush and tell you to hold still. With all of us kids (13 with all cousins and siblings) it took way to long to get us all ready. So when Krystn was little, I knew she hated it. So I learned to do her hair really quick and tight so it would not fall out. When she turn around 6 is when she didn't want me to braid or doll it up anymore. So tonight we are just putt putting around the house and I asked her if I could do her hair. It has been a good 3 years since doing anything with her hair. It took convincing that she could take it out if she didn't like it, and 35 minutes after negotiating this is what the result was: It took about 3 minutes. She liked it for about 5, and then took it out. but this face is what I was going for! Oh, and that is the cat feather toy stick in her hand. She had to show that in the picture.

Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS)

So I thought I could give some information on PDD-NOS. Krystn doesn't have the Autism. However, she has many of the behavioral issues and physical and mental problems associated with the PDD symptoms. "The term pervasive developmental disorders (PDDs) refers to a group of developmental conditions that affect children and involve delays or impairments in communication and social skills. Autism is the most well-known of the pervasive developmental disorders, so PDDs also are known as autism spectrum disorders." "Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) is a 'subthreshold' condition in which some - but not all - features of autism or another explicitly identified Pervasive Developmental Disorder are identified. PDD-NOS is often incorrectly referred to as simply "PDD." The term PDD refers to the class of conditions to which autism belongs. PDD is NOT itself a diagnosis, while PDD-NOS IS a diagnosis. The term Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS; also referred to as "atypical personality development," "atypical PDD," or "atypical autism") is included in DSM-IV to encompass cases where there is marked impairment of social interaction, communication, and/or stereotyped behavior patterns or interest, but when full features for autism or another explicitly defined PDD are not met." - Yale Medical School My favorite article: "Like other parents with children on the spectrum, you will face many challenges, starting with the incomprehension and insensitivity of others unfamiliar with your situation. They may think your child is "misbehaving" and, consequently, deem you a parent unable to "control" him. This may be especially true because PDD-NOS kids don't fit into the more easily identifiable forms of autism spectrum disorders. Ignorance can bring out the worst in others, and sometimes, when they're not privy to your child's issues (or simply don't understand them or won't accept the diagnosis, as happens in some families), they may be more judgmental. That's why it's important to surround yourselves with friends, family members, teachers and healthcare providers whom you trust. Be sure that the lines of communication with and among them are clear; you will be relying on them through the many ups and downs of life with a PDD-NOS child." So I hope this helps some people. It sure does me. It took us almost 10 years to diagnose Krystn. I am just glad I kept pushing, and never just pumped her full of meds, like so many doctors before wanted to do. There is hope out there! Scottish Rite here is fresno is one!! http://www.fresnoscottishritelanguagecenter.com/index.htm

Big Words

So I have been in Los Angeles for the last 4 days and nights. This was for training for the new job I have taken. I am not sure if any of you have ever traveled for a job, but it sucks. I made it home in time for Krystn's school carnival last night. I surprised her and Tom when I walked into the room. It made her cry. I think she missed me. Well, so when we got home we sat down and had dinner. Just Talking and laughing and the dog chasing the cats and barking and Vlad jumping on the table.....I am so glad I am home! So after dinner I crawled into our California King Size bed and grabbed finger nail polish and Krystn. I took her old polish off and repainted her fingers. I then painted my toes and nails (and Toms, but he made me take it off!). Once I got done Krystn asked to see my toes and I showed her. She goes, "Impressive." and nods her head. It was funny. I just look at her. She goes, "That means I didn't think you could make it look that nice." I lost it! I told her I knew what it ment, and thanks alot for the encouragement. I just thought it was cute.

Tattle Tale

So this morning me and my little girl (Oh she is not little anymore, "I'm 10 MOM!") woke up at 4:40am. I have been fixing her computer all morning because she got some virus's...that is neither here nor there. Anyways, we have hung out all morning while Thomas slept in. It was very nice. I am not sure if all kids are tattle tales on their parents, but she sure is! Anything I do, she calls grandma and tattles on me. Even if it is nothing big, she still does. This morning she was tattleing on me for something, again not a big deal cause see, I already forgot. It brought back the memory of when she was around 5 and called and tattled. You see, she loved to climb under my bed and lay with the cats. Well, she found a book that I had on my nightstand that fell halfway under my bed (probably from the cats knocking it off the nightstand). Well, she proceeded to call Grandma and told grandma "Mom has a book under her bed with a naked woman on it." (sorry laughing as I write this.) So my mother freaks out and tells her to bring the phone to me. Then she proceeds to tell me how irresponsible I am for having that kinda trash laying around for her to find, and blah blah blah. I am trying to explain I do not have crap like that. I told my wonderful daughter, who now got me in trouble, to go grab the book she was talking about and bring it to me. She brings me my greek mythology book. And sure enough, there is a half naked picture of a ladie (showing her ONE BOOB) to me and I am hysterically laughing! I explained to my mom what it was and even read her some of it so she would believe me (she lived 400 miles away, or I am sure she would of came over and checked). So these kind of things have happened over and over, because she thinks that she knows everything! Plus, I think she likes it when grandma gets mad at me sometimes, because then she is not the only one being yelled at. My mom, has picked it up over the years and just tells her to 1. stop going through your moms stuff or 2. it isn't any of your business (MYOB). Anytime she tattles on me it makes me laugh. Cause most of the time it is something that is so funny that she said something about it, that it makes it even better! Like, "Grandma, I am soooooooo hungry. Mom NEVER feeds me!" (laughing again) Krystn is by NO MEANS a skinny girl. She wastes food, so she is not allowed in the kitchen unless she asks. So when I say no, wait til lunch or no, wait til I cook she gets upset. She has gotten alot better since we have made her ask to go get food, and it also gives us the ability to make sure what she is eating is not 'popcorn and ramen noodles'. It was so bad for awhile even my best friend would call my mom and go "Linda-Mom, Renee wont feed me. I am sooooooo hungry." Once Krystn saw what she was doing, and I wasn't budging on the subject it has started to cease. Now we do think she doesn't have the ability to know when she is full. She will eat until she throws up if we let her, and sometimes still complain she is hungry. By limiting her diet, and making her conscious of what she is eating, her weight is starting to come down some. So if your child tattles on you to your parents, know there is someone else out there who knows the feeling.